Choices

We all face certain choices every day. Some are easy – paper or plastic, soup or salad – some are difficult – should we have another child or not? Being diagnosed with cancer gives one another entire set of choices; ones that have not been given any thought before the occurrence. These include chemo or not, radiation or not, and others. My choices were, lumpectomy, single mastectomy or bilateral mastectomy, and, reconstruction or not? I chose bilateral mastectomy, but I also chose to be tested for the BRCA gene since the history is so strong in our family. When the test came back positive, I knew I had made the right choice.

The choice for chemo was another that was not so difficult. One wants to do what they can to insure against recurrence. The choice for radiation was not so easy. By the time I was ready for that stage, I had developed a painful condition involving a nerve that had gone haywire in my armpit. Radiation has a reputation for doing the same type of damage that I was already experiencing. It was a more difficult choice. In the end, I chose not to have it, partly because of all the complications involved and partly because of the difficulties with my insurance company.

After treatment, there are still more choices. For those of us with hormone linked cancer, there are several different hormone therapies available. This was a choice that, initially, I thought was easy, but since has become difficult. The year prior to my cancer diagnosis, I had a stroke. I was extremely fortunate that the blood clot somehow was redirected into my eye, instead of my brain. I had a small blind spot for a short amount of time, but there were no long term disabilities. Since the hormone therapy drug, Tamoxifen, has been linked to increased risk of stroke, we went with one of the other choices. After taking Arimidex for about a month, I had a bad reaction to it. Very bad. I was hospitalized. In the psych ward.

It took a while to get at all figured out, but now I was faced with a new choice. Hormone therapy or not? Tamoxifen or not? Cancer or stroke? Which one was I willing to take a chance on? I din’t like this choice at all. I chose Tamoxifen, accompanied by Aspirin and said my prayers. So far so good.

Now I’m faced with another choice. Since my last surgery, I have been feeling increased amounts of pain in my shoulder area. They think it’s a compressed nerve, but they don’t know where it’s being pressed or what is doing the pressing. The pain goes all the way from my ear to the outer part of my shoulder, into my chest and partway on to my back. It’s a large area and it’s a severe pain. At first they started me on some medication that is commonly used for nerve pain, but my reaction was severe and similar to the one with Arimidex. It seems that I cannot tolerate drugs of that class at all. So my choice is live with the pain or live with the possibility of another bad reaction. I don’t like these choices at all. I don’t know what to do or who to turn to. I’d like a different choice.

Hello there, I'm Teresa

My name is Teresa and I’m a 44-year old southern gal from Alabama. I have two wonderful children (Meghan, age 14; Jimmy, age 9), two beautiful cats, and two energetic mini-Australian Shepherds. I also have Stage IV breast cancer.

Originally diagnosed in February 2005 at age 39, I found the lump myself and had my first mammogram. Over the next two weeks I had a biopsy, ultrasound, lumpectomy, and subsequent mastectomy of my right breast (the tumor was larger than first thought and it had spread). At that time my cancer was graded Stage II (T2N2MO, ER+/PR+). By April I was on chemotherapy (A/C then Taxol) and a few months later I was given 28 radiation treatments. I lost all my hair and was very sick for months. Follow-up scans indicated the cancer was gone. I began taking Tamoxifen and hoped for the best.

Our family had big plans for the next year to do things we could not during my illness. We bought a new boat and the children were really looking forward to that summer. Unfortunately, my husband passed away in May 2006 from a heart attack in his sleep. He was only 47. Just as I was beginning to feel like myself again, my life fell spectacularly apart.

I made it through all of that somehow, and the children and I struggled to get used to life without their father. Being a single Mom is difficult at times and, thankfully, two years passed during which I continued to have a clean bill of health. Then in March 2008 I began to have severe back pain. My oncologist sent me for a scan and gave me some bad news: the cancer had returned and it was in my bones. I had tumors in my spine and in one hip. This changed my diagnosis to Stage IV and I was devastated. Fourteen radiation treatments were immediately scheduled due to the location of the tumors putting me at risk for spinal cord compression. After that I began monthly bone treatments (Zometa). My next scan was clean and I went back into remission.

Since then I have had two more recurrences and undergone chemotherapy both times (Ixempra, Doxil). I am currently receiving Abraxane due to very small tumors in two lymph nodes, my spine, one hip, and my liver. Two weeks after the first treatment, my hair began to fall out. Sadly I am bald again, but can feel the lymph node above my collar bone shrinking more and more. I am looking forward to my next scan and praying for a good report.

My life has been full of ups and downs these past five years. Sometimes I’m not quite sure how I made it through. I strive to look for the good in all things and try not to focus on my cancer too much. In spite of everything, I feel the Lord has blessed me tremendously. After all I am still alive, my children are happy and healthy, and I just became engaged to a wonderful, loving man (something I never expected in my wildest dreams considering my health issues). I will never give up hoping for a cure; but in the meantime, life will continue to go on and I plan to live it to the fullest while I’m here.

Getting to know Dianne:

I’m 46 years old and have two kids, a daughter that is 18 and a son that is 17. I’ve been married to my best friend for almost 25 years. I’ve been teaching Math at the local Jr. College for 20 years and been a stay-at-home mom at the same time. I homeschooled both kids from the 6^th grade through the 11^th – it was loads of fun!

I found my breast cancer less than a month after a “clear” mammogram in 2008 (Infiltrating ductal carcinoma, stage IIB). I always knew I would get cancer because every woman in my dad’s family has died of breast or ovarian cancer. I’m hoping to break that chain.

So, after a bilateral mastectomy, an oophorectomy, eight rounds of chemo (interrupted by the development of a rare condition), Arimadex hormone therapy that landed me in the hospital after a month, another biopsy, Tamoxifen (for the next 5 years), and implant reconstruction surgery - I’m still here! It’s been a wild ride so far, but you’re welcome to join me on my journey.